There doesn’t have to be a narrative arc to these things; I finally figured that out. I’m new at this. Jumping right in:
I have some inspirational crap on my cube wall and desk at work. I didn’t festoon the everloving shit out of the place–no pith or depth, no exhortations or testimonials, and fer chrissakes no posters of cats eternally being encouraged to “hang in there”, although I think that picture would be more effective if there were some menacing dude with a hockey mask and a blood-and-fur-matted chainsaw in the background–it is just couple of tattered pictures that have been in my possession since college, one other picture, and a figurine among all the other crap on my walls and desk.
Albert and Abe usually end up, in my mind anyway, doing some kind of exasperated face-palm gesture in reaction to whatever fresh outrage I have perpetrated against the virtues they represent. Sometimes I even think they look at each other and whisper under their breath, things like “what a lying sack” (Abe) or “What a dumbass” (Albert) Buddha mostly doesn’t let things bother him, but I think even he rolls his eyes and shakes his head (while muttering some real sarcastic zen koan, the answer to which I would never “get” in a million years) once in a while. And the other guy usually speaks right to my heart, which usually doesn’t listen.
Albert and Abe are postcard-sized portraits, and the Buddha is a small bronze statue who basks serenely in the pale blue glow of my computer monitor. The other guy is a picture I found on the internet. These iconic figures are there to remind me of various things: to try to be smart, and honest, and peaceful, when dealing with whatever comes up at work. Note that I did not assert that I AM any of those things…if I were, I would not need the pictures and statues to remind me. Truth be told, I am more like the other guy.
So, Albert:
And Abe:
And the other guy, whose advice I never take, even when I should:
Hey, look at me, with no madd formatting skillz and sucking at this shit right out of the gate! Yay!
Anyway, what I will strive for in this endeavor is what I hope I have gotten by keeping that Abe and that Albert around for so many years: some measure of honesty, and of intelligence, in what I offer. And hopefully some of what Buddha and the nice cuppa guy in the other picture represent. And prolly some other stuff, too; I just don’t know what, yet. My voice is not the product of an orderly mind. I have strewn snippets of prose and fiction and commentary and fragments of phrases, by the hundreds: across hard drives, jump drives, My Documents folders on dead computers in the basement under the boxes of old video game consoles, and in composition binders, spiral notebooks and miscellaneous scraps of paper. Some of that stuff may well end up here over time.
In the mean time, please bear with me as I adapt my voice and adopt a cadence suitable to this medium.
Like I said, I’m new at this…
Tags: Noob
