Sometimes I see things wrong on first glance, and the original misinterpretation is what sticks in my mind, forever. And sometimes I prefer my first impression of an event or person, regardless of subsequent evidence that the original thought is just stupid or crazy.
First example: On the way to work I pass this place that sells things on eBay for you. Its name suggests that it should be pronounced “Re-Tag it”, but its logo looks like: reTAGit, with a very stylized font for the TAG part of the name. For the life of me, I can’t look at that sign without seeing what I saw the first time I read the sign: “rent-a-git”. I think “Git” is a British synonym for what we over here in the colonies might call a “dumbass” or a “fucktard”, so this makes me laugh inside my head a little each time, and try to imagine scenarios in which I might want to rent one. Maybe to fill in for me at meetings at work, or to do stuff around the house: “Oy, come ter order, then…this ‘ere is when we ‘ave a meetin’ ter discuss ther bleedin’ archivin’ rules fer the ‘lectronic communications then, innit?” or “Watcher ffink ’bout some bloomin’ Navajo wite fer the bleedin’ wainscotin’ an’ crown moldin’, then?” I like the idea of a bunch of obnoxious cockney dumbfucks milling around a holding pen, waiting for the dispatcher to call them up, day-laborer style, for their daily git gig. Giggety git.
Another example is from a misreading of the sign outside the Gordon Food Service outlet store. The sort-of bolded comic-sans font of their logo makes the sign look like it says “Goddamn Food Service”. At least it does if you first see it through misty car windows on an overcast day in heavy traffic so you only get a cursory glance at the sign, and you’re retarded like me. So ever since then, that is what I see every time I pass their store or one of their trucks on the highway. There goes the goddamn food service truck again.
“Where is that Goddamn Food Service delivery order?”
“I don’t know; maybe we should rent a git to track it down.”
A third, and really stupid example, is from one of the shampoo bottles in the shower at home. Without my reading glasses, I swear the name of the product on the container looks like “damn clean”. Closer inspection shows that it is really called “drama clean”, all in lower case like that. That is stupid enough on its face; in this case I think my version, while stupid in an entirely different way, is actually preferable to reality.
